"I do not believe that people who live double lives set out to do so. In most cases, they loathe what they do. Most of these people have struggled with a certain sin from their youth. And from their youth, they have desperately wanted to rid themselves of it. Then a problem occurs--let's say stress or overwork--and the willing spirit gets overwhelmed by a stressed-out will.
In most cases, the flesh's only method of dealing with and eliminating sinful behavior is to suppress it as tightly as possible. The most common suppression in the context of the church is to use external constraints--rules, injunctions, edicts, and prohibitions. Maybe if we preach loud enough, 'resist the devil' long enough, try hard enough, scare people enough, go up to the altar enough, we'll somehow be able to hold this inner problem in check.
As an aside, we have encountered people who actually went into the ministry for the purpose of placing so many constraints on themselves they could not 'fall into sin.' They are good people; they love God and hate sin--especially their own. But the only coping mechanism they have ever employed to deal with their lust, or whatever sin, is to subdue it with their firm resolve. They neglect to deal with and heal from the wounds and motivations that lie beneath the surface of the external behaviors.
For someone in the ministry, this translates: 'I'll be preaching every week about God's holiness and our need for self-control. The discipline of speaking it, and the subsequent need to model it, will help me "keep the lid on it." The ministry will provide for me the discipline that I need to keep the lid on. It will protect me. I'll preach about the wickedness of pornography on Sunday morning as a means of dealing with my addiction to it. Or I will preach about authority and submission--from the pulpit of an independent, separatist church.'
But does this 'method' work to produce lust-free living or real inner holiness?
William Barclay, in doing a study on various sects of the Pharisees came up with one category identified by him as 'the bruised and bleeding Pharisees.' Among all the sins that these Pharisees wanted to avoid in their quest for human holiness, they wanted to avoid lust the most. The way they could avoid lust was to never look upon a woman. They would put hoods over their heads in public and look at the ground, thereby avoiding any potential sinful distraction. But with hoods on their head and with eyes to the ground, they created another problem. They kept running into walls and falling down stairs! Thus the name 'bruised and bleeding Pharisees.'
What about this approach to 'restraining' sin? It certainly speaks of good intentions. Yet Colossians 2 warns us graphically about defusing sin's power by purely external means:
Why do you submit yourself to decrees, such as, 'Do not handle, do not taste,
do not touch!' ... These are matters which have, to be sure, the appearance of
wisdom in self- made religion and self-abasement and severe treatment of the
body, but are of no value against fleshly indulgence.' (vv. 20-23)
If our method for dealing with the sin in our lives is to suppress it as tightly as we can, the chances are very high that one day the lid will blow.
External control for sin is no control at all. That's why Jesus said to the Pharisees in Matthew 23:25, 'Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside they are full of robbery and self-indulgence.'
As pertaining to leaders who 'appear' trustworthy, it is incredible how 'shiny' they can look on Sunday morning. Any leader--ourselves included--can say all the right things and call people to all the right behaviors. But it is no good if that shiny veneer is simply a cover for an internal problem that we know about, but will not handle by admitting we are powerless over it. Jesus said, 'I would that you would clean the inside of the cup and of the dish [deal with the real issues of your heart] so that the outside of it may become clean also.'
If your method of dealing with sin is to tighten down the lid, put on an 'in control' face, and polish the outside of the cup, it may work for awhile. But eventually what's on the inside will explode to the surface. When it does, there will be casualties everywhere--especially if you're in the ministry.
What Is Our Only Hope
At the very beginning of Jesus' ministry, He laid out principles of kingdom life that, if understood, unlock the door to real freedom and the spiritual life. He said new and wonderful things, as in Matthew 5:3, 'Blessed are the broken.' The language of brokenness is very easy to spot. It simply says, 'I can't.' Not, 'I'm sad,' 'I'm sorry,' 'I feel bad'--but 'I can't do it.' 'I need help.' 'I can't save myself!' When people finally realize that, they begin to develop a hunger for their only hope, which is God's saving grace. 'For by grace you have been saved though faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no on should boast' (Ephesians 2:8-9).
We cannot save ourselves. Nor can we sanctify ourselves. When we are redeemed, we are given a brand new heart, implanted by the Holy Spirit. (See Ezekiel 37; Hebrews 11.) With that new heart comes a new desire to love God, to serve Him, to live holy. But the question still remains: How? The answer given all too often is, 'Try hard, do more, really mean it this time.' Interject the language of brokenness into that approach. 'I can't: I can't subdue it, I can't control it, I am powerless.' When we come to that terrifying realization--which we will do everything to avoid--we begin to develop a hunger for our only hope: sanctifying grace.
Here is a pattern worthy of note. The only way I could enter into salvation was to realize that I could not save myself. Liberty and life comes in hungering for and believing in a work of the Holy Spirit who would, by grace through faith, make me new. The pattern we need to see is that holy living comes the same way. Colossians 2:6 says, 'As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him.' The way we received Christ was by recognizing we 'could not' establish our own righteousness. The way we walk is to recognize that we cannot on our own produce righteous behaviors--they come as God performs His spiritual work in us. This speaks of a lifelong reality of absolute dependence and faith.
'Blessed are those who mourn ...' says Jesus in Matthew 5:4. The word 'mourn' in the Greek is penthos. There are many Greek words describing various dimensions of grief and mourning. What captures our attention about this word penthos is that it specifically speaks of a visible external expression of internal pain. In other words, 'to mourn' means 'to show on the outside what is going on inside.'
Think about that. Isn't that different than 'putting on the lid'? In fact, it is the complete opposite. Blessed are those who can show on the outside what is happening on the inside. Quite pretending you have no sadness, pain, fear, or sin, and get it out in the open where it can be dealt with, where God can really heal it. This is humility--and also integrity.
When there is no freedom to show on the outside what's on the inside, and no real brokenness, then there is no room for the grace of God. Sin has been pushed underground, and the result is a double life."
- David Johnson & Jeff VanVonderen
from: http://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Power-Spiritual-Abuse-The/dp/0764201379/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1378069875&sr=8-1&keywords=the+subtle+power+of+spiritual+abuse
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