"As I have traveled around the world meeting numerous Christians, I have become aware that many have long struggled to forgive other people who have wronged them. I believe it's only through relationship with Jesus Christ that we can start to walk in the freedom that comes from a life of forgiveness.
Unforgiveness soon becomes bitterness, and nothing will choke the streams of living water that are meant to flow from your life more than a root of bitterness. The root can grow so large that a person's whole personality is twisted and deformed by it.
The first step for anyone to become whole in Christ is to accept responsibility for their own sins and failures. There is no point in blaming anyone else, regardless of what terrible things have happened to us. When someone hurts us, our natural response is to pull back and withdraw. We are created in such a way that we want to avoid pain. But then something takes place that requires us to make a vital decision. When we pull back from a person who has caused us pain, we must decide whether or not to let bitterness into our heart.
Bitterness is what happens to you when you will not forgive. Bitterness is to hold on to an injustice that has been done to you. The Bible indicates that when a Christian is destroyed by bitterness, it not only ruins them, but it ruins other people as well: 'See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many' (Hebrews 12:15). A bitter person tends to spread the poison in their heart to others around them. Friendships often break up through bitterness, and then mutual friends are forced to choose sides, which leads to more trouble and pain.
Bitterness is a toxic root that grows in the garden of your heart if left unchecked. Usually we do not see the root, just the surface problem. Many people spend a lot of time and effort trying to beautify the outside of their lives, pulling up the surface weeds when really they need to go below the surface and dig up the root.
The verse in Hebrews about a root of bitterness starts by saying, 'See to it that no on misses the grace of God' (12:15). Another translation talks about 'pulling back ' from the grace of God. Bitterness does exactly this. It causes a person to pull back from the grace of God.
The first time I was arrested for the gospel in China was very difficult. Somehow in my heart I thought that as a servant of God I was entitled to special treatment in prison. I did receive special treatment, but not the kind I was hoping for! I was severely beaten until my whole body was covered in blood and bruises, and much of my hair was torn from my scalp.
For a time I harbored bitterness against the men who had done this to me, but the gracious Lord Jesus taught me that there is absolutely no point in withholding forgiveness towards anyone, regardless of what they have done. Unforgiveness would only achieve two things. First, it would harden my heart and cause a root of bitterness to take hold, and second, my relationship with Jesus Christ could be damaged. I came to realize that self-righteousness had risen up in my heart. In effect, I was saying to God, 'Everybody else should get what they deserve, but don't we have a special relationship, with grace for me?'
It doesn't work like that.
Jesus taught, 'Blessed are the merciful for they will be shown mercy' (Matthew 5:7). God wants us to forgive others of their offences as He has forgiven us of our sins and offences. In fact, Jesus ties our forgiveness to whether or not we are willing to forgive others. He said, 'For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins' (Matthew 6:14-15).
There is only one way to dig out the stubborn root of bitterness from our hearts.
It is to forgive." pgs 32-34
- Brother Yun
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