Sexuality, Marriage, and Redemption

So I've been reading this book...

Yeah, I know, I say that a lot these days. My poor friends, family, and boyfriend are the (mostly) willing targets of the way I learn, reading and discussing what I read. I also really like posting tidbits of what I read on here in hopes that others will be challenged, taught, encouraged, etc. as well. 

Well, this book that I'm reading, The Secret Thoughts Of An Unlikely Convert, is pretty amazing. As a Christian, I've struggled for awhile now with how to address the disparity between a Biblical interpretation of the fallen nature of human sexuality and it's redemption in Christ, and the utter condemnation that certain Christians and churches propagate. I've also known that I can be very ignorant of a lot of aspects of the subject. The author of this memoir, Rosaria Butterfield, is a former Post-modern, Liberal, Feminist, Lesbian who came to Christ at the  most inconvenient time in her life. And her life since coming to know Jesus is not the kind that one would like to imagine. In her own words, her conversion was a train-wreck. It was not a neat and tidy step from the kingdom of darkness into the Kingdom of Light, without casualties, struggle, and pain. She didn't come to Jesus, instantly stop being gay, and turn into a modern Christian housewife with 2 1/2 kids, a white picket fence, and a dog. I so deeply appreciate her honesty about her struggles. Her candid approach to the pockets of real Christian community she experienced along with the failings and hypocrisy of the American Christian sub-culture is extremely refreshing. Also the Biblical truth she conveys about the complexity and pervasiveness of sin and how one deals with it with Jesus is very instructional. I would seriously recommend this book to everyone. You will learn a lot, not just about Christianity and sexuality, but also about how Jesus really does come and save people, and not in the caricatured way both non-Christians and Christians expect. 

Here's a blurb from the conclusion of her having given her "R-rated" testimony to a group a Geneva College. She hadn't even wanted to talk about her conversion when first asked, because it wasn't anything like the testimonies she had heard and was uncomfortable with the expectations those listening might have of her. This section definitely hits hard and made me think about my own assumptions about marriage, sex, and my involvement with a church:

 

"The talk generated a lot of questions. Some questions revealed what these students had not learned about God's grace. One student asked: 'how you know you are healed if you are not having sex with a man?' In return, I asked him, 'Why is my health as a Christian determined by having sex at all?' I went on to explain what has always seemed obvious to me, but often comes as a great shock to Christians. I explained that all too often good Christians see sexual sin as merely sexual excess. To a good Christian, sex is God's recreation for you as long as you play in God's playground (marriage). No way, Jose. Not on God's terms. 

What good Christians don't realize is that sexual sin is not recreational sin gone overboard. Sexual sin is predatory. It won't be 'healed' by redeeming the context or the genders. Sexual sin must simply be killed. What is left of your sexuality after this annihilation is up to God. But healing, to the sexual sinner, is death: nothing more and nothing less. I told my audience that I think that too many young Christian fornicators play that marriage will redeem their sin. Too many young Christian masturbators plan that marriage will redeem their patterns. Too many young Christian internet pornographers think that having legitimate sex will take away the desire to have illicit sex. They're wrong. And marriages that result from this line of thinking are dangerous places. I know, I told my audience, why over 50% of Christian marriages end in divorce: because Christians act as though marriage redeems sin. Marriage does not redeem sin. Only Jesus himself can do that. The audience seemed a little shocked to hear this. 

The question shifted from sexual sin to expressed anger at church culture: specifically, how do we talk like this in church when church is like is, according to one student, 'filled with hypocrites.' Although only one student articulated this sentiment, the auditorium sighed with solidarity. I pointed that out to them and asked for a show of hands to better see how many shareholders this idea had. The majority of the audience raised a hand. I then put my manuscript aside and issued a challenge to these students. 'Maybe churches are filled with hypocrites because you are not there. Or maybe churches are filled with hypocrites because you are there in pride and in self-promotion. Here's my challenge to you: for those with church ties, start going to church in honest vulnerability. For those of you who are not going to church at all, come to church with me. Make a 6-month commitment. Pray with me for God's saving and guiding grace, and then we can talk about whether or not the church is filled with hypocrites.'"

-Rosaria Butterfield

from: http://www.amazon.com/Secret-Thoughts-Unlikely-Convert/dp/1884527388/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1360350748&sr=1-1&keywords=rosaria+butterfield